Running rush

I sat there wondering why I had come to McDonalds. Probably to show that I was fine and normal and that my classroom was fine and dandy. Or probably because my brain was fried and I was hoping that Ronald McDonald had some answers. Either way, I spent most of the time staring at the TV screen watching EPL highlights on ESPN. Only towards the end did I start talking and joking and thank god for that.

It is unusual for me to be quiet and straight faced. For those of you who know me, you know exactly what I mean. I am either smiling or laughing and constantly yapping. Most people would give anything for me to be quiet for a few minutes but it also serves as a source of worry as this is an obvious indicator that everything is not OK.

I didn't quite know what was wrong or why I was in a blah mood. I drove home listening to the radio as usual. As I parked my car and entered my apartment building I thought why not go for a run? I hadn't run in the morning and thought it better not to wait for the run the next morning. I decided to run after about an hour and settled down to finish a few small things.

I finally got up and headed downstairs for a run. The next 20 minutes took me to a place I needed to be and cleared my mind. My heart and feet were thumping to the beats of the music but as I ran, a calm washed over me. Things inside settled and my thinking became clearer and things seemed a lot easier and definitely more manageable.

I guess once in a while it is hard to keep things in perspective and be objective. Here, where there is a race against time, I think it is a constant struggle but the only thing I have learnt is that it may not necessarily be a bad thing. It pushes me to work harder and question myself. It also pushes me to be more efficient and really prioritize!

Running may not be my first suit but it is slowly becoming my vice...

Mumbai Marathon 2011

Please start pledging money for Teach For India:

http://wishberry.in/users/wishlistview/1099

Every little bit counts! :)

Investing stakeholders

Wednesday was an extremely eventful day to say the least.

The day started off with me going to school, just like any other day. We were told we would have to attend some Zilla Parishad training for two whole days, all in Marathi. Of course, we were ecstatic about the training! ;)

There was this hope that I would only have to go for half the day after school, but our Principal had a change of heart and wanted me to attend for the full day. So around 10 AM I headed to a nearby school and sat down among about 150 English and Hindi medium teachers for a 7 hour long Marathi "bashan" on the new ZP format for assessing our students!

Following the training, I walked out with the hope of heading to a Western classical performance. I put my key in to open my car door, took it out, sat in the car and looked at my key. The key was slightly bent. I touched the tip of it and it snapped into two and I was just left staring at the key that was now in two pieces.

One of the teachers from my school was with me and I was supposed to drop her back home. I was like um... there's a slight problem. My car key just broke and is now in two pieces. Then I showed her the key. We decided to find a chhabi wala close by to get a duplicate key made. We started walking and about 5 minutes later learnt that if we went into the Yerwada market, we could possibly find one. After a good 15 minute walk, we found a chhabi wala who was willing to make a duplicate key.

When asked how much it would cost, with no hesitation he said Rs. 150. I, for one, had only Rs. 40 in my wallet at that time. Yes, I know, just wonderful luck! We successfully bargained him down to Rs. 40 to make the key. YAY for bargaining skills! :) With a key in hand that would hopefully work, we headed back to the car. Once back, I tried opening the car door and couldn't.

We tried all kinds of things, including shaking the car to get the door open, but it just didn't work. By this time, the other teacher's uncle had come to pick her up. They were nice enough to go back to the chhabi wala, pick him up and bring him to the car. The key by now was bent and out of shape. He fixed the key and 2 minutes later had the car door open. Amazed I started the car and headed to drop the other teacher off at home.

Once at her home, she insisted that I come in and spend a few minutes, so I went into their house. A nice, quaint house and such a warm, welcoming family! It was amazing how the whole family called me in with smiling faces and such affection. They insisted that I have dinner with them but I told them that I would have to head out as it was getting late.

After about an hour, I walked out of the house and headed to my car. As I was driving back home, I was just thinking how wonderful it was to visit their house and how welcoming and affectionate they all were. We talk about investing stakeholders all the time but how many of us take it to heart. I'm pretty sure no one would have told this teacher anything about investing stakeholders but she just did it. I think that at the end of it, I felt that we should not look at ourselves as being different from the other teachers in our school, or feel different but rather just look at the wonderful things that they offer and the things that we can learn from them. If you look hard enough, there is something we can learn from every single person we meet! :)

City of Angels

Do you believe that each one of us has an angel watching over us? Do you believe in heaven? Do you believe that its important to feel pain? Do you believe its important to know what a pear tastes like? Or.....do you believe it would all be better if you could hear music when the sun rose and live in blissful ignorance?

"And I don't want the world to see me,

Cuz I don't think that they'd understand,

When everything's made to be broken,

I just want you to know who I am"

"And you can't fight the tears that ain't comin,

All the moment of truth in your lies,

When everything feels like the movies,

Ya, you bleed just to know you're alive..."

Today was the first time I watched City of Angels. I didn't know what to expect and neither did I expect this song. For some reason, I thought there was another song in this movie that never played and was pleasantly surprised when this one did. One of my favorite songs, I now understood what it meant and how it could mean so many more things. Definitely an interesting watch for the heart! Makes you question and wonder....and wonder and question...those simple things in life that we take for granted...makes us think of our struggles and the many things that we choose to ignore...the many things that we struggle to come to terms with...the many things that we grapple with on a daily basis....but it also makes us think about the simple things in life...the things that make life worth living...the things that make life so special....the things that make us human....and the things that only humans have....

Food for thought...or rather exercise for thought....five minutes later I was pulling away at my ergometer...guilty for not waking up early enough in the morning to finish my workout...on the other hand, thankful for the order of events...allowing my mind to literally wander to the heavens and back while I rhythmically pulled at the handle of the ergometer.

The sweat mixed with the pain gave a strange sense of pleasure and satisfaction...a high that only exercise could give....a fulfillment that only physical strain could deliver!!! For this feeling, I wake up every morning...for this feeling, I drag my tired body out of bed and pull on my sneakers...for this feeling, I go through the pain and the strain at the end of a hard day.......for nothing as wonderful as the oxymoronic pleasurable pain was unleashed from Pandora's box....

Tomorrow is a new day, where I wake up looking forward to feeling this pain all over again...looking forward to my screaming muscles and my aching lungs....looking forward to the meter counting down and the time ticking away....looking forward to the rhythmic spinning of the flywheel...stroke after stroke....minute after minute....the small things in life make life worth living and the angels watching are really missing out on something special!

Sense of possibility

Last week I was at my wit's end with what incentives and investment strategies I could use with Simran to get her to do her work and complete it. It seemed impossible. She was extremely slow with her writing, even if it was just copying from the board, she didn't complete any of her homework, she didn't bother to write in the workbooks or even complete assignments in her notebook. I tried telling her all different things. I know she absolutely adored me but for some reason didn't see reason in completing her work.

Finally, before she was leaving school one day I told her that she would not be allowed into my class the next morning if she didn't complete all her pending work. If she didn't, she would have to stay outside class and complete the work and then she would be allowed into the class. She agreed and left the class. I kept my fingers crossed that this strategy would work.

The next morning she came in again with her work incomplete and I sent her out immediately and told her that only if she completed her work she would be allowed to be part of the class. I believe this struck a cord somewhere and in record time she completed her work and came into class to show it to me. I was amazed to see that not only had she completed it all, she had also gotten it all correct.

That day, at the end of the school day, I told her again that she would not be allowed into class the next morning if she didn't complete her work. The next morning she walked into class all proud and beaming. She very proudly pulled out her workbooks and showed me that she had completed all her work. I was elated and ecstatic.

Again, for the millionth time, I learnt not to give up, at any point on any of my kids....they were all going to make it...but I had to believe...because if I didn't, no one else would....for them, all they have is a belief and a hope....

True mastery

A couple of days ago I went to Laveena's house as part of my community visit. After about a week of telling her that I would come to her house after school, I finally made it there. I didn't really feel like going that day either, but since I didn't want to see the disappointed look on her face, I decided I would go to her house and spend some time with her family.

Once I got there, I was extremely happy that I had gone to visit. Her grandmother was simply a pleasure to speak to and was animatedly describing all the activities of both her grandkids and from her I could see where the spark in Laveena and Deepak came from. Laveena is in my class while Deepak is in 4th grade and both kids have extreme energy levels and are bright eyed throughout the day!

The highlight of my visit was when I pulled my laptop out because Deepak wanted to watch Waving Flag and Wakka Wakka and a few minutes later Laveena was asking me to show various pictures that I had shown them in class at different points in time. Suddenly, Laveena starts narrating the story of Cinderella to Deepak, fully animated and enthusiastic. I watched Laveena, awed, while she narrated the whole story with all the details in Marwadi to her brother with such excitement...concluding with the fact that Didi would have a ball for the class if they behaved like ladies and gentlemen. Funnily enough clarifying that ball was not the object that you played with but a huge party that princes and princesses attended.

I knew then that it was possible....that overwhelming sense of possibility, the core value that I identify with the most, came to life.....and I knew then that all I had to do was believe and have faith...all I had to do was work hard....and that the magic would work itself....now I want my kids not to achieve 1.5 years of growth but I want to try and push them to achieve as much as they possibly can and give them that confidence to push even further! :) :) it is for that spark in her eyes when she narrated the story that I wake up every morning and head to school...

Glimmer of hope

I walked into school yesterday morning...and like every other morning since the beginning of the school year, started marking the attendance register....without giving it a second thought, I marked Tarun absent...according to my kids, he never came to school even in 2nd standard...he hadn't come to school in almost 2 months...why would he find any reason to come now?? And that too on a random Tuesday???

While I'm busy marking the register, there is some commotion around one of the benches and my kids are all trying to get my attention....I see this somewhat lanky, scrawny kid with a baby pink backpack sitting next to Pankaj and just looking at me. I was shocked, surprised, all at the same time and didn't quite know what to say....

I couldn't believe that he had actually come to school....I walked up to him and introduced myself...he introduced himself as well and I told him that he could sit next to Pankaj the rest of the day as Sheefa, who he was supposed to sit next to, was absent and I hadn't figured Tarun into my seating chart...

Now what was left to see was whether he would make it back for day 2....I spent the whole day asking him various questions leading back to whether he liked school...n whether he wanted to be regular to school so that he could learn and become really smart...:) he bought into all of it and said that he would be coming to school regularly....I just hoped beyond hope that he would not be absent the next day and kill the glimmer of hope that I had for this boy!

This morning, I was happy to see Tarun walking into class and happily making himself at home...he is obedient and does the work assigned to him...indeed, he is very weak...expected of a student that is absent most of the time....I think a little bit of motivation, lots of encouragement, lots more time....and much more faith...will see Tarun make progress and taste success!!! After that there will be no turning back....

Tarun is my newest challenge...and today, again, I go back to think....believe in every child!! Even the ones that have not showed up to your class yet...they just might and you just might be the one that can save them from falling over the edge!!!